Let’s celebrate the parenting moments that make us feel Badass. It doesn’t mean we’re Harley Davidson bike riders (although that’s fine if you are), it means we are stronger than most because we handle greater challenges. It means all the twin and multiples moms out there who are kicking ass every single day despite personal struggles, life obstacles, and feelings of doubt. Let’s learn from each other and celebrate the Badass in all of us.
Every week I will feature one Badass twin or multiples mama. She will share her Badass moments however she wants to define them, what her schedule is like, offer advice and tips around sleep, tantrums and whatever else she has figured out or would like to share. Last week, we featured Lisa from Phoenix Arizona, read her story here.
If you would love to be a part of this Badass movement and share your story, please sign up below.
Featured this week is Kellie from New Mexico
I met Kellie online through my first Mom of Multiples group that she had put together. From the time my twins were born up until now, we have gotten to share our stories good and bad, supported each other and just grown as mamas. She’s the sweetest person I’ve virtually met, and despite all that she’s dealt with in life, she still manages to make jokes and cheer others up. Listen to her incredible story, and you will agree with me, she’s one amazing Badass Twinmom.
1. Introduce yourself:
Hello my name is Kellie and I have 4 children. I am a stay at home mom in a small town in New Mexico. My oldest is Domonic he will be 12 in July and he is in a residential treatment center for past trauma and anger disorder. My daughter Kyla is 7 and my identical twin boys Luis and Kevin are 2.5 years old.
2. Can you share some of your Badass parenting moments?
I think the things I’ve had to deal with have made me one Badass mom, I’ve probably been through more than most. It’s been hard but it’s made me who I am, and I’m fiercely protective of my children given all they have been through.
One Badass mom moment happened when Kevin was 3 months old. He and Luis were napping in my bed. When their dad went in to check on them, he yelled for me. As soon as I got in the room, I saw that Kevin was pale white, not breathing, and his body was limp. I immediately grabbed him and gave him CPR while his dad called 911. It was a very long 10 minutes but I got him awake and breathing before the paramedics got to my house, so they just asked me to put him in a car seat and we went to the hospital to get checked.
This one defining moment that could have been tragic had I not reacted so quickly was probably the result of my past which instilled in me strong survival instincts.
Motherhood started roughly for me. My first child Domonic was burned when he was 2 years old. I was going to college at the time, and I was in class the day it happened. My ex boyfriend had offered to watch my son at my apartment since he had his daughter as well. Later he called me saying I needed to call an ambulance because my son had burned himself. I told him to call 911 and I would be there ASAP! I called my mom and asked her to check on him because she was closest. When i got there, she was holding my son and the skin from his legs was hanging from his toes and I saw pieces of it on the carpet. I honestly don’t remember much from that day. I don’t remember seeing the man who intentionally put my son in a scalding hot bathtub. He confessed to the cops that he had turned up the hot water heater as high as it could go. He was found guilty and sentenced to 12 years in prison.
My son has been through so many skin grafts on three fourths of his body for third degree burns, I can’t even keep count, and he will continue to have surgeries until he stops growing. From these burns, my son has developed PTSD, anxiety, depression and an explosive anger disorder on top of him being ADHD. In 2014 when Domonic was 9, he started having seizures. Scans showed old blood built up from a brain bleed that looked similar to trauma from shaken baby syndrome which happened around the same time he was burnt. Whatever else my ex did to my son, we will never know. In 2015, I had to admit Domonic into the pediatric psychiatric hospital because of his anger. He was threatening to hurt himself and everyone else in his life including teachers and students at school. The time before that, I made the choice to admit him because he had tried to stab me with a pair of scissors. Since then he has been in and out, only getting discharged when he has medical issues due to his skin grafts. Sadly, he has been sent back for attacking me, my fiance, my mom, the police when they are called, teachers, secretaries and the principal. He has ran away from me, my mom and school. He has gotten into vehicles with strangers. He has gone to a stranger’s house asking if he could live there and many other things. At the residential treatment center, he continues to act out, threaten staff, attack them, break phones, physically fight other peers, destroy peers belongings, attempt running from the facility, harm himself, and try to call 911 blaming and accusing others for the things he does to himself.
3. Can you share what your typical day is like?
A typical day before i started potty training started out at 7:30am. I would wake up, get my daughter ready and on the bus for school. Then, I usually would sweep my floors before the boys woke up and got food and crumbs everywhere. They would wake up at 8:30am and we would change diapers, eat, then go in their room and play for two hours. At 11:30am we watch TV for an hour. At 12:30pm, they get a snack and we clean their room. Nap time is at 1:30pm and lasts about 2 hours, they usually wake up at 3:30pm. That’s the time Kyla gets home from school so they all sit down and watch cartoons for one hour and I help Kyla with her homework and the boys have free play. Once we are done, we all eat. Then we go outside to play for a bit and come in for bath time. Bedtime is at 9pm.
4. What’s some advice you would share with new twinmoms to survive the newborn stage?
My advice for new moms is to remember that the first 8 weeks are the hardest to get through. Get yourself a nice routine that works for your family and it will get better. Enjoy your babies, it really doesn’t last long enough!
5. At what age did your twins start sleeping through the night? How did you sleep train them? What worked for you?
Honestly I don’t think i can even call it sleeping through the night now. I get them to bed at 9pm and sometimes in the middle of the night they come to my room and go back to sleep on my floor next to my bed and wake up at 8:30am. They were about 18 months when they stopped waking up for a cup at night.
6. How do you deal with temper tantrums?
Tantrums are real fun! Hah! When they have a tantrum if it’s not over something I can fix, I tell them to go to their room. If they don’t go, I take them and let them cry it out until they are done. They will usually come out over it after about 5 minutes.
7. What have you started teaching your twins, when did you start, how did you do it and how long did it take?
I started potty training my twins at the end of May. So far potty training is going okay, it’s definitely not the 3 days that some people talk about! We are on day 8 and I started off by having the potty chair in the living room and getting them used to using it instead of the floor. I expected Kevin to do better than Luis because he showed more signs of being ready but Luis has proved me wrong and hasn’t had any accidents in 5 days. Now Kevin has had a couple here and there.
At the beginning, Kevin would pee on the floor and he would get the mop and clean it up because that’s what he saw me do! Eventually, they both started using the potty chair every time they needed it. Now we are on day two of them using the potty in the bathroom with a toddler chair on the toilet and a stool so they can get up. At first i was bribing them with candy and I slowly stopped that about 4 days ago. They have been without clothes or diapers this whole time except for nap time and bedtime!
Thank you again Kellie for sharing your incredible story!
I hope you’ve enjoyed learning about Badass Twin Mom Kellie. This warrior mama is one strong lady!
On a side note, Kellie mentioned her twins didn’t start sleeping through the night until they were 18 months old. It’s different for everyone but twins can sleep through the night sooner, mine started at 4 months old. Need sleep training tips? Discover the 7 secrets to sleeping twins, Click here to receive the free guide.